Angel

I've been meaning to post about the supernatural convention over the weekend but I've been in such an emotional bubble since I got home I've just wanted to sleep and dream about the weekend. I have really bad post-con blues this time around and it's just been sucky.

....

Then today I got horrific news. One of my best friend's children passed away suddenly last night. No warning, no signs, just..gone. His name was Angel and now he is one. If you believe in that sort of thing. He was a darling little boy who always wanted attention and hugs and he really loved to laugh. He was so smart and witty and really full of energy. I'm going to miss his hugs and him yelling for me to come play with him. I only met him a few times but I always enjoyed his company, even when he was being a little pain. He used my iPod a few times as his own personal camera and I'll definitely keep those pictures now.

My thoughts are with my friend. So are my hugs and my love because her little family did not deserve to deal with such heartbreak and to explain to her youngest, who is 3, about what death is and why her Angel won't be coming home from the hospital again.

RIP Angel. You will be sorely missed.

Two days

We leave for Dallas in two days. SO EXCITED!!!!!

I make an appointment for Ria and I to get manicures tonight. Stoked about that. It'll be weird having someone else messing with my hands and painting them. I've never been on the receiving end of that kind of stuff, I'm always the one painting someone elses nails and my own. :] I can't wait to see how they look. We're getting french manicures for the weekend. I just hope that my nails are good enough to get the right look and don't look half-assed or something. ><

Steve Carlson's new album became available to buy today online. Oh dear god it is so beautiful. Jensen is featured in one of the songs, playing and singing in it and it just makes me swooooooooooooon.

Click to play and be amazed! <3 <3 <3

 I wasn't really planning on trying to say anything to Jensen and Jared during the panel. Well.. I was, then thought better of it, but now I'm undecided because I really love this song. I especially love the line "All your 'secret wishes' could right now be coming true" it's really beautiful and haunting. Guh. Love it.

My button for Misha is still MIA. *grump* I'm really irritated about it. Also. My glasses are MIA because some little turd (Priestly) decided to have a spazz at like 5:30 this morning and ran over me and my bedside table and I heard them clatter but didn't realize they fell in the floor. They're probably under my bed somewhere since I can't see them around the table, but I'm gonna find em. I'm going to try and start packing some stuff up. Bathroom type stuff with make up and everything and some clothes that I don't plan on wearing this week. I just need..some motivation.

Okay..so TMI Tuesday is gonna follow. No one reads this but me, but if someone stumbles upon this and you don't want TMI then don't keep reading. lol You've been warned. 

It's been a week of firsts and stuff...well sort of. It'll be the first time I've been to Oklahoma and Texas on our trip this weekend. I also uh.. well, this is personal, but I used a tampon for the first time ever this week. Totally weird. It's something I've never been comfortable dealing with or doing, so I've avoided it. But with getting older and having heavy flows to begin with, and traveling and wanting to have a good time I figured it was a good time to finally bite the bullet and do it. Try it at least and just see how it goes. Like I said, totally weird. Slightly uncomfortable but not in a bad way. I just know something's THERE. Hah..mentioned this to mom earlier and she's like 'practice makes perfect' so.. yeah, guess I'll keep it up and see how it goes this week while at home and on the road to Dallas.

So now that TMI Tuesday is out of the way..haha. I gotta get dressed and start packing some stuff :D

It's finally here!

The week that Ria and I go to Dallas and see Jared, Jensen, Misha, Chad, Mark S, Sebastian, Matt, Richard and Gabe again! Well, we'll be meeting Mark S, Sebastian and Gabe for the first time but seeing everyone else again. :D  I'm so excited. It's really getting to me, like my chest keeps getting these little tight sensations that I get when I'm excited or nervous about something. Weeee!

I seem to have lost my button for Misha. Dammit. I know I stuck it somewhere since I moved here. I know because I've shown it to Ria a few times. It's in here someplace..I know it is. But I have found Matt's card. I don't know if I've mentioned it before but whew, glad I did.

Ria and I went shopping Friday night. Oops. We each got new shirts to wear to Dallas. And some earrings and I got a butterfly necklace that was paired up to a set of studs so that was cool. I really like it, it's so cute. I also finally figured out how to style my hair without me thinking it looks like absolute shit. And I tried a new way to wear make up today. SUCCESS FOR LOOKING CUTE!

D'aww.. I look kind of cute here.

 But yeah..besides that, it's been a good day. Finished my psychology class, I'm done with classes til the 20th, then I'll have to bust out some crap Thursday night to get it going for the weekend if anything is actually due over the weekend. I hope it isn't, but my luck, it will be. BOO. I will have American Art History and Advanced Illustration until Oct 27th. Then I have only 4 more classes after. SO EXCITING TO BE ALMOST FINISHED.

And to bounce back to another subject, Ria and I went to World's of Fun's HAUNT tonight and boy, it was awesome. The lines weren't much to like and the annoying kids who kept yelling at every person in costume that came near them to "high-five me!" almost got a high-five to the face from me. I really can't stand little irritations like that. Many of the workers ignored them anyway, so I'm glad I wasn't the only one annoyed. Sheesh kids. But other than the annoying kids, long lines, and the overly used fog machines, it was pretty good. I was afraid I wasn't going to actually get scared in these things, but I totally did. Many times. Screamed all the way through and Ria was clinging to me the entire time. I'm just glad she didn't grab onto my bruise on my arm..that woulda sucked. I expected more people to be wandering around in costume for the park, but they kept to little spaces. The best part of the night though, was the show. It was called Blood Drums and it was this trio of drummers who were dressed up and using barrels and metal drums for their instruments. They were super nice and we got a picture with them afterwards and I got a hug from the cute one with the mohawk. Ria has that pic on her phone, so I'll have to get it from her tomorrow and edit it a bit if I can. I hope so. Stupid fog and crap. But the cute mohawk guy complemented my butterfly necklace. XD Me likey. It made me feel good, even if it was a compliment for the necklace and not my looks.

Sooooo..other than that it's been mellow-ish. Dealt with stupid people for work and school, got sick earlier this week and spent all day sleeping, and am now hungry again. BOO. I can't wait for this weekend and I hope I'm not overwhelmed with junk to have fun. Paid too much to be distracted by bad crap. GAH! We leave Thursday..SO EXCITING PEOPLE! :D :D :D

Irritation

Obviously I'm not a skinny person. For anyone who knows me, I wore a single digit pant back in 8th grade and after that my waistline just kept expanding because food was my comfort when I was humiliated and picked on at school every other day. So I get it, I KNOW that I'm big, and to top if off, I know for a fact that my boobs are gigantor. We don't need a play by play, nor do I need you to tell me DAMN! when you see them for the first time.

I'm irriated tonight because at World's of Fun I got on the ride Thunderhawk with Ria. I sat on the end where they generally like to put larger riders because it has a wider seat. Tonight we start to get strapped in, the over-head bar comes down, but the bottom one doesn't. Then the car makes a noise and the over-head bars go back up and here comes the skinny dude who let us on.

"Ma'am, it appears that you are too large for the ride."

....
...
..
.
.
.

Are you serious? My reply was this "Well that's bullshit because I've been riding this ride most of the summer." I get up in a huff, put my glasses on and look over at Ria who was asking 'what is it?' and I say loud enough for the rest of the people in line and on the ride to hear "Apparently I'm suddenly too fat to ride this ride, so do you want to get off with me?" and after that I stomped past the guy, if he said anything, I didn't hear him but really, what could the jerk say? I shove the gate open and just leave, Ria ends up following behind me in a rage as well. I'm embarrassed and flustered, because I haven't been told in YEARS that 'you're too fat' for an honest to god reason, and now, when I've been losing weight all summer long, and on a ride I've ridden a handful of times in the last month alone, I'm suddenly too fat. THERE IS NO LOGIC THERE.

Ugh. I'm just.. UGH. If I had gained weight, if I had to buy new pants or new underwear, then fine, I could understand that because I haven't been to that park in about a month, but not under these circumstances. Ria found a manager and we explained what happened. He was a bigger guy, not fat but just bigger, and he was understanding. He kept asking what I wanted him to do, to go yell at them, to demand they let me ride it, file a complaint(even though he really didn't want me to do that.. hah) or whatever I wanted. And I have no idea what I wanted.. a sorry? A 'you look pretty'? *sigh* So I just told him I don't know, there's not a lot they can do really since he was the games manager (games were right next to this ride). So he apologized, the girl in the arcade area apologized as well and said it was stupid that they do things like that.

*SIIIIIIIIIIIIGH* I just wanna punch something to get it out of my system. Either that or have a cry about how fat I am. Kind of torn how to feel about it. I was embarrassed and hurt and just irritated mostly, but then having to talk to a manager made it slightly worse and better at the same time. :\ I know Ria wanted to complain because she was really upset about it, and I love her for it because I don't like having to complain about my weight being commented on to someone who's skinny and probably five years younger than me. Thankfully that wasn't the case at all because he was really understanding.

But yeah.. end rant for that. Then I realized that my messed up tooth has gotten worse. A piece actually chipped off earlier. I think I actually felt it/crunched it while I was eating dinner at Bandana's.. ew. >< But I am gonna have to suck it up and go to a dentist next week or call at least to see if they can do something about it and how much it'd cost. :\ I also need to take my other pair of glasses to America's Best and have them fuck with them because I really wanna wear them but they sit crooked! :(

Only a week left til the Dallas convention! SO EXCITED! Gotta get everything ready.. eeee!

This fandom is full of morons.

There. I said it outloud on the internet. The Supernatural fandom is chock full of morons. Idiots who can't seem to navigate the internet well enough to find information on their own and have to ask every question under the sun except for if the actors wipe their own asses or not, but they can continuous post question after question that's been answered ten-fold on that same page. Basically this is a rant about groups on Facebook.

I just really cannot stand people who don't look for information on their own or have to blow my mind that they actually have the ability to breathe because they sure as hell don't have any other skills. Jesus. Ugh.

Meeting the Bug

Haven't blogged in a few days, but it's been pretty busy lately. Thursday consisted of me banging out projects for class and my job and trying to pack and hopefully sleep to be ready for the drive we were going to do Friday night. Needless to say, neither of us got enough sleep Thursday night/Friday day(for me) to really be totally alert on the drive.

Where were we going? Well I can't remember if I mentioned it before or not, but Ria and I were heading to Colorado in order to see her family there and to meet baby Aubrey for the first time. She was born July 19, 2012 and is Ria's niece which in turn makes her my niece by proxy. XD Which, I love. It makes me feel special, since my only other chance to be an aunt would be if my sister has kids at some point or if my friend Katie has them. Sis wants them at some point and Katie is trying for one now as far as I know, so maybe I'll be an aunt again next year? lol

So we were heading to the gas station so I could pay for gas to fill up the tank before we left and then I made a superbly shitty discovery. My paycheck from the Friday before had bounced and been returned so I had a negative $200 balance in my bank account. I was livid. This isn't the first time it's happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last, but every time it does, it always seems to screw me and only me there. Maybe it's just because I'm not in the building in person, but man, it sucks. So I had to move  $300 from my savings account(which was there because of a stipend and had been planned on having for a nest egg/to pay my school bills) and then it was depleted so I could cover all of the pending transactions that were fucked up by the check. I ended up buying one 3/4 tank of gas the entire trip and little snacky things for myself on the ride back. I felt like an idiot the entire time, being broke and even more so than I intended because of me having to use my savings to cover shit. UGH. This makes me want a new job even more so than I already did, this really isn't the way someone is supposed to be treated.

And the best part is, whenever I mentioned this to the boss, he acts like its my fault. Like I tell my bank to fuck up and not put the money in or that I didn't sign a check or something. Hello?! As it were, like every. other. time. it came out to be that he had insufficient funds. Go figure. -__- So thankfully today I got the returned check in the mail and I redeposited it, so tomorrow I should be able to start transferring the $300 back into my savings where it belongs. UGH. I hate money.

Now back to the main story besides that little tangent... Ria drove out of KC because it was pouring rain, dark and just plain shitty. After finding out I was broke to the max, I fumed for about an hour and she grumped because of idiots in the road. We switched off at some point after the turnpike in Kansas so I could drive. Drove til about 11pm when we stopped in Hays, KS. (Pretty sure it was Hays) and ate dinner before continuing onto Colby. Once at the hotel we crashed and then were up early, got breakfast and off we went to Colorado Springs.

We got there around 1pm MST and there was the little bug.. Christi met us out front and inside Christopher had the baby. She's soooo stinkin' CUTE. I was kind of nervous about holding the baby, because hey, there's a lot of boobage here and not a lot of space to put things that are that small. I managed somehow, and just hope she continues to like me as she grows up. Ria got to hold Aubrey first, which was totally warranted while I kind of hovered and stayed back to give them all time to chat and whatever about the baby. I was starting to feel a little crappy by then but ignored it. Everytime I go to Colorado I tend to get altitude sickness and just feel bleh. Last year when I was there in July I did everything but actually pass out at the Royal Gorge. 6,800ft just isn't my friend, man. I like my low-land state.

I got to hold her before other family members showed up and she was passed around and fed and it was fun just to hang out. We stayed there for a while and then Ria's parents showed up and it was a lot of fun seeing them. Hugs all around! I kept joking that I was all set for the baby to puke on me this weekend, because of Anja's mess and Ria throwing up at the party, why not have baby puke to round out the month of August? lol Luckily for me, I came through the weekend clean of barf! WOO!

We went out to dinner Saturday night with Ria's mom, Christopher and Christi and the baby at Red Robin and the burger I had was so friggin delicious. It was the A1 Peppercorn burger.

^ this totally explains the deliciousness that this burger was.

After that, we parted ways and went back to the hotel to sleep and for me to do my homework. I took a shower after that and went to sleep. Sunday was not so fun at first. I woke up feeling pretty shitty. The altitude was setting in but after laying around a bit longer while Ria went with her mom and Christi to the store I got up and they picked me up to go to Christi's house and hang out for a while. Ria's dad had kidney stones last week, still has one now actually, but he had one removed on Friday so he wasn't feeling good at all and was pretty much stuck in bed all weekend. :( It was sad but I know he'll feel so much better after having surgery for the second one next week. But we were at Christi's for a while with talk of going to see the balloon glow later that night. Her friends were coming into town as well. Her friend Leah and her brother Rusty, who are a couple, with a 5 yr old named Aiden. Aiden was alright, little loud and stuff but most kids are and Leah and Rusty leave much to be desired. I don't want to hang around them again if I don't have to. Urgh. Anyway, I was feeling kind of bleh, while Christi went to meet them when they got into town I went back to the hotel to work on homework and lay down for a while and Ria and her mom went to the dog park with the dogs.

I watched some crime shows after finishing homework and then watched a bit of Big Brother before we went back to Christi and Christopher's for the balloon glow. Christi had the bright idea of parking where she worked and walking to this place, which she said was only a few blocks. Few blocks my ass. It was like forever away and I was getting light headed and winded while walking. I hurt, my head hurt and at times I felt like I couldn't breathe right but I didn't complain. Just kept my head down to focus on where my feet were going and followed the rest of them. It ended up to be a long walk in vain because the damn balloon glow ended right before we got there because of a damn wind shift! >:( ARGH.

So after that, we went to Applebee's for dinner, I felt better after getting food in me and water. I got a lot of baby snuggles there too while I waited for my own food.

 

She was watching all of the lights and being totally enthralled by them.

 

Baby snuggles <3

After dinner, Christi packed Aubrey up and she promptly barfed all over herself and the car seat. lol Gross baby but I was saved! Woo! Back to the hotel we went and I was laying in bed talking to Ria and the next thing I know is that her phone was playing her alarm and I was awake waiting for my turn to shower. I got on Facebook, like every obsessed person does, and saw this:

LOL Ria took it and posted it on FB. I laughed so hard. XD

Hehe.. so after we were showered and packed we went to hang out at Christi and Christopher's for a few hours longer til we had to leave. We had awesome baby time, snuggles, fed her, and Ria and I even changed two diapers! Christi wasn't around since she had a MASSIVE migraine so she was laying in bed for most of our visit. Mo came over finally to say bye to everyone and rest there for a bit. Ria and I headed out sometime after 1..which was an hour after our plan. Boo. We got Panera for lunch and we headed back to Missouri.

We stopped at an antique store in Raham, CO..which was neat. There were a few railroad lanterns and lamps there that I wanted, but they were several hundred dollars. Fluffy was a pain during the trip for a while so he got to lay in the back for a good chunk of the ride. All in all, with a few other stops we made it home around 12:45am and unpacked the back seat and flopped into bed. lol It was an awesome trip, save the altitude sickness but that baby was totally worth it. I can't wait to see her grow with pictures and videos and to see her again at Christmas time. :D